Eat Your Charred Heart Out

TOD

Clearly Mola Ram knows how to party. But do YOU, dear reader? Are you prepared to satiate the masses’ roaring collective appetite for gaggles of grilled goodness that’s also good for them? Well, maybe you are. I don’t know you that well. How was your holiday weekend? How are you parents? Did you, your friends, or your family members avoid artery-clogging, processed fare this past fourth of July? I’ll go out on a limb and say yes.

INCORRECT Pictures, Images and Photos

Ah, nerds! The truth hurts. But don’t be ashamed; it’s not too late for schlubs like us. Though I have tasted the heretical flavors of the forbidden brat and the verboten allure of the hot dog, that doesn’t mean that I (i.e.: you) am a lost cause. It means I am human: I have made mistakes, but I, too, have the capacity for change. Come, dear reader: change with me. Let’s flambe the summer away to our heart’s collective content. Let’s rid ourselves of unhealthy horrors but remain replete with the tastes all grill lovers (especially Madonna) cherish.

Madonna-Cherish

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Let's Lose Some Weight

loser

Hey, sounds like a pretty good idea, right? All we have to do is consume fewer calories and burn more, and voila, we are thin and trim. So how do we go about it? What’s the plan? Well, we gotta exercise more, eat less meat, avoid trans fats, yada yada yada… wait a minute. What’s that? Are you telling me, health experts at Healthline, that simple nutrition advice like this is not always beneficial?

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… Ahem. Pardon?

incredulity

Hold the phone, Dr. Kim: is it true that drinking too much water is dangerous? I didn’t catch that. Could you repeat it? If I’m hearing you loud and clear, what you’re saying is information we’re often given about cholesterol is inaccurate?

surprisedmonkey

I’m alone. Confused. Frightened. Bewildered. What am I to do? How am I to proceed? Help me, Wellness360! You’re my… uh… my one… my only.. h… ho–.. line?!?!

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Mother's Day and Mother Earth

motherboy

Did you know it’s been over a year since we started not-so-semi-regularly updating Wellness360? Hey now! Move over, WebMD! Since we admittedly forgot to timely commemorate this thrilling occasion, let’s do some quick backtracking: one of our first (and favorite) posts centered on Earth Day 2008. It was fun, informative, and Will Smith-friendly—the quintessential Wellness360 post.

I’d love to duplicate that formula, but doing an Earth Day post post-Earth Day is just lazy. However, I’m nothing if not a proponent of a strained segue that masks my inner languor: Mother’s Day is right around the corner, and who’s the fairest mother of them all? If you guessed Mother Earth, we’re probably best friends. So don’t be frightened! Follow my lead, put on your mom jeans, and join Wellness360 as we show you how to enjoy Mom’s day the pro-wellness way.

momjeans

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There's Something In The Air

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Yes, fair reader, you guessed it. The answer is spring—spring is in the air. And fortunately for us, spring typically smells like the sizzle from a succulent grilled paradise. I’m temporarily blinded just thinking (and looking) about it. And while baseball may be the official pastime of spring, I, for one, can hardly imagine fully enjoying the sport without a serious grill-laden tailgate or two.

However, here’s where the two traditions diverge: while baseball is supremely healthy, keeping participants active, engaged, and alert, we cannot in good conscience always reciprocate the same good vibrations about the ubiquitous spring grillfest. Rife with hulking burgers, fatty hunks o’ steak, or piles of processed meats, like any baseball team, a license to grill can turn ghastly if not managed well. So heed the forthcoming scouting report from the grizzled vets at wellness360 to ensure your team of spring cuisine is more Rays (quite good) than Rangers (endless disappointment).

Are you grilling? ARE YOU GRILLING UNHEALTHILY? There's no unhealthy grilling advice in blogging!

Are you grilling? ARE YOU GRILLING UNHEALTHILY? There's no unhealthy grilling in blogging!

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Heart Beatings and Spring Cleanings

springcleaning

See what I did there? With the title? Clearly hilarious. My ability to wow readers with wordplay is unfailing. And, look, it’s the middle of March: the season is a-changing. Oftentimes, these gusts o’ change beget the urge to change things within ourselves. Still drifting through the post-New Year malaise, resolutions unmet? Still unfit, untidy, or unhappy? Or, faithful reader, have you taken certain steps toward personal betterment, but feel not-so-certain about the impending result(s)?

Well, in lieu of the season, and in lieu of our recent blood work and Q-n-A with Dr. J, Wellness360 is back with an empire of info on improving diet and day-to-day health.

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Happy Valentimes!

30rock

No matter your feelings about Valentine’s Day, the current state of your romantic throes, or your particular plans for the lovely event, we can all agree on one prevailing prophecy: wellness is just as much a part of Valentine’s tradition as cupid, crass commercialization, and crippling emotional rejection.

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Oh, so you’re of a different mind on the subject? Well… I see you’ve left me no choice. Valentine’s Day is about giving, caring, sharing, and wellness, and if I have to prove it to you, then I certainly will. No matter the Valentine’s fare—fancy meals, decadent chocolates, extravagant bouquets, annual disappointment—we can go about it healthily, happily, and smartly.

A Happy Valentine's Day from Billy Ray Valentine

A Happy Valentine's Day from Billy Ray Valentine and the Dukes

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A Triumphant Return to Wellness

electricboogaloo

You may have noticed before us here at Wellness360, but it’s 2009! What are the odds? Time for a brand new you. Time to branch out, even be adventurous, spontaneous, rambunctious, gregarious. It’s time to change, grow, and become the you you’ve always wanted to be. Therefore, instead of cringing at this treacly attempt at galvanizing spiritual and physical harmony, you’ve already started your crusade, right?

fluman

NO!!!! I'm SICK!!! The FLUUUUUU!!! ACK!!!

Oh, my! What’s that? Cold and flu has attacked and set back your valiant attempts at slimming and improving yourself and your life? The mere threat has triggered you to spiral into a tailspin from which you may never recover? Well, frankly, I’m shocked. Friend, we must reverse these insidious tides. We must ensure 2009 is a year of success—not distress. We must defeat these bugs!

Let's do what Elmer Fudd could not.

Let's do what Elmer Fudd could not.

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